You work out of a Hotel?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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