My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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