no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
