do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My vagina is very pro this idea
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