even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
