Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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