Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
