Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize