I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
