Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
