I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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