so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
