No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
