Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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