Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
