now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
