somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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