I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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