She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
