Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize