Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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