sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize