I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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