smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
