when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
