I seem to have left my pride at pride
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
