matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
