I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love having hate sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
