doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
