in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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