maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just pee around me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
