Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're too hungover to prance.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
