so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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