I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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