Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
