he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
