Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
