I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize