I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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