Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
