I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
