Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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