During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
