At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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