It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
