Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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