I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize