I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
this boner is exhausting
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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