If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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