An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize