Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
