ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
pop tarts are not kleenex
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
