Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize