Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
