who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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