you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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